that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
