i was born a porn star she said
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
