pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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