so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
