Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
