dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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