dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
