The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
