i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
