ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
