I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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