no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
