So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
