you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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