she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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