just come out here and I will go home with you...
Apparently you make a good broom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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