I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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