I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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