Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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