She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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