Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
