yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Do vagina's smell?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
