I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
