just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
