your thong is hanging out like whoa
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
