I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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