i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
