My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
