I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
