if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
