i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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