sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize