STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
