I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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