After last night, I could never be a politician.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Randomize
