She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
