She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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