the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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