I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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