I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
