Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Houston, we have a squirter
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
