You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
