This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
