No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
