Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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