i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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