I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize