I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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