Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
