Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
