How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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