she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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