Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
