nut hugger
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
