Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
