Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
