'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
