can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
