just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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