also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you inspire me to be a worse person
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
