I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
