I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
