i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
