it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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