I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
