Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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