bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
