State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
